He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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