Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
