So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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