Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
