i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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