I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
