Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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