If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Threesome in a minivan. New low
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize