I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
They have beer where we have blood.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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