Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize