Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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