For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
