real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
