You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
