don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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