Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
