Pants 0. Shit 1.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
