proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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