my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
