Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Randomize
