You work out of a Hotel?
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
