do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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