She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
