he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
