so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
