Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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