I didn't shave. On purpose
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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