Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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