i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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