My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Randomize
