They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
