you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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