I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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