Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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