Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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