i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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