Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
