My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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