his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
