Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
