and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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