Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
