the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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