i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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