i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
