Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
