yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
