i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
