I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
