More tranny stories later!
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
