I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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