In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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