He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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