saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
This is the prime rib incident all over again
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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