Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
