She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Randomize
