it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
